We Must Do Better for Our Boys

Photo Credit: Pixabay

When I started this blog, I was most interested in speaking to women and helping them find the motivation and inspiration to push forward in a world that is sometimes unfriendly, and other times outright hostile, to them. Of course, I hoped that men would read this too, but I understood that in naming this The Girl Power Code, I was probably turning off a large segment of the male population.

Going forward, however, I hope to make men a larger part of the discussion here. It may seem counter intuitive, but men are a critical part of the solution to our gender gaps. How we raise our boys and the expectations we place on our men is just as important as empowering our women and is key to creating the cultural shifts necessary to reach true equality.

Last night, I came across this Op-Ed piece by comedian, Michael Ian Black, titled, The Boys Are Not Alright. He provides powerful insight into how boys and men experience gender in our culture and how we all lose when we don’t give them permission to express the full range of their humanity. I encourage all boys and men (and girls and women, too, of course) to read this and give it some thought. We must do better for our boys. Our futures depend on it.

3 thoughts on “We Must Do Better for Our Boys

  1. We have duties to everyone in society. If we ignore those duties, we end up with people within our society who don’t function in the way they could. If we neglect to make people aware of those duties, they can focus on their rights. They can feel entitled while lacking meaning. It is the worst case scenario, in my opinion.

    Women who feel oppressed should speak out. The challenge is not taking it to the next step and becoming the oppressor. It is a hard line to walk. I would go so far as to say it is impossible for a group of people to walk that line without a significant portion of them faltering.

    Nietzsche said: “He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster. And if you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss also gazes into you.”

    I try to walk the line of knowledge and action that remains useful. In my experience, comments like this are useless. Malice gets attributed where there is none. Ask yourself what it would take to take the actions of someone else. What belief or principle would need to change. Which idea or fact would need to be learned or forgotten.

    People aren’t good or evil. They are both at the same time. Their circumstance makes them into one type of person or another. It is painful to know the evil part of yourself.

    As Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn said: “If only it were all so simple! If only there were evil people somewhere insidiously committing evil deeds, and it were necessary only to separate them from the rest of us and destroy them. But the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being. And who is willing to destroy a piece of his own heart?”

    As a writer, you have to create a character and truly know that character. If you can’t understand why that character behaves the way they are in your writing, the character is serving the plot. It won’t create a good story in most cases. If you have a story of good and evil, your evil character must be a person. Otherwise the story won’t be compelling. There are only so many stories about “evil Nazis” that people will buy into.

    This idea of good and evil being in everyone is important. The idea that understanding of others is a high virtue appears to be lost for many people. It doesn’t appear to be lost for you.


  2. I agree with a lot of what you said. Gender equality is a two way street! Although I write for everyone, one of my personal goals is to allow men to be comfortable expressing themselves as who they are, and by doing that understanding and accepting the differences of others. If you are interested, we could set up some sort of collaboration or cross posting to bring new perspectives into our blogs!


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